For those of you who know me, you know that I had it in my heart to adopt. I still want to. I want my son to have a sibling. But not biologically. I had no desire to ever experience pregnancy. But, here I am, 30 days away from due date, feeling every little wiggle, stretch, and hiccup of my baby and looking forward to meeting him and holding him for the first time. I am filled with excitement and anticipation, eagerly waiting for that day.
But let me tell you, at least for me, pregnancy sucks. I've been told a lot of women who want to be mothers love pregnancy and the process of growing a whole new human inside themselves. They get that "glow" and the attention and the gifts. Yes, I agree it's incredible that so much happens in the course of nine months and the formation of a human infant is an outright miracle, but it puts a toll on the body and the mind.
Not to scare any of you out there who want to be parents, but pregnancy is rough for a good many if not most who experience it. There are so many many things that can go wrong at any time just because of how complicated growing and nourishing such an intricate body is every single time. And no one can predict how a pregnancy will go. It's different from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy.
What's insane to me is how many mothers don't seem to remember the difficulties of their pregnancies after labor. From my own research and asking mothers, it seems to me that the rush of hormones involved in giving birth and the love they feel for their newborn almost erases everything they went through beforehand.
So, with that in mind, I'm putting down everything I have experienced in pregnancy before I give birth so that you, dear reader get ALL the "symptoms" as they are called before I forget them. Not just so that you are aware of what I went through, but so that I am reminded of my experience and my resolve not to do it again.
Understand that this is only what I have gone through. I am one person, not a guarantee that anyone else will experience the same. I did my research, I asked my questions of my doctor and mothers in my life. I know what was normal, what was common, what to look out for or be concerned about. From what I can tell, I am average in a lot of areas. Some have experienced better, some far worse.
But there's a list. And it's a lot of little things. Let me break it down for you.
First trimester (from conception to 13 weeks gestation):
Keep in mind that most women are unaware of their own pregnancy for nearly the first half of the first trimester if they conceive the "old fashioned" way instead of in vitro fertilization (IVF) or anything like that. Whether or not one is trying to get pregnant, there isn't much to show for it in the first little bit. Some women experience "implantation bleeding" which can be like a light period or they can not be aware at all as was my case. I knew relatively quickly that I was pregnant though due to having a regular menstruation cycle. At somewhere between 4 and 5 weeks pregnant (and a week of waiting for a period to never show up), I took a test to confirm it.
The first symptom of pregnancy for me was easy: no period.
Then I got sick. This symptom has been dubbed "morning sickness" though for me it was just as likely to happen at night as well as in the morning. Basically just pure nausea. I only threw up a few times in the first trimester and early second trimester, but the urge to upchuck, especially while I was eating, was frequent.
Then there was food aversions. Meals and foods I normally liked or would have no problem eating became almost guaranteed vomit inducers. Chew-able antacids became essential to consuming most meals. Thankfully the few times I did throw up were because the food was a little undercooked, which leaves me to believe that my body was just being protective.
I couldn't eat eggs anymore. And having used to eat eggs nearly every morning, that caused a big change in my meals. Spicy food was out the window. I strangely didn't want to eat the skin on apples, so my hubby would cut the skin off for me. There was something else that I like that for a while I didn't want to look at let alone eat, but I can't recall what it was at the moment.
My emotions were out of whack. Due to rising hormones, I was more prone to suddenly change moods than normal.
I started to show (as in belly poking out just a little) late March (at around 10 weeks I think?).
Second trimester (weeks 14-27):
The nausea continued into the early portion of the second trimester. My aversions remained, but then came cravings.
Sometimes I wanted sweet foods, fluctuating from craving mint chocolate patties to peanut butter cups to cookies to brownies. Almost always chocolate.
Sometimes I wanted Doritos.
For the span of a few weeks all I craved was sour candy.
Then my bones hurt. And all I craved (and still do) was calcium rich foods. Lots and lots of dairy - milk, cheese, ice cream, you name it.
I started to gain weight, as everyone does during pregnancy. And was within the parameters set by my doctor, so we weren't concerned about it.
Pregnancy brain! Yes, it's a thing. Constantly forgetting things making me feel like a goldfish.
Stretch marks began to show up on my hips and the front of my belly. At my request, my husband started rubbing "belly butter" on my stretch marks to help moisturize my skin and lessen the itchiness that comes with a rapidly expanding belly.
Third trimester (weeks 28-currently 35 weeks 5 days):
Achy joints. Achy muscles. Always tired.
Congestion. Not from a cold, but rather from increased blood flow well everywhere.
The cravings have lessened, but heartburn is common just because my stomach doesn't have much room left.
Swollen body - mostly puffy feet and hands and a little in my face. Basically water retention leading to edema (the fancy word for swollen ankles). Shoes are tight and can't wear rings.
Higher blood pressure. Not hypertension yet, but doctor is wary.
Clumsiness. Expanding belly and heavier baby leading to a change in center of gravity and the hormone relaxin loosening the joints in my hands making dropping things a frequent occurrence.
Body dysmorphia. Big time. I look in the mirror and sigh. All these outward changes in my body making me unrecognizable to myself. Really hoping I go back to my pre-pregnancy body or at least close to it.
Well, I think that's everything. Probably forgot something anyway. Thanks pregnant brain! I hope some of you found this enlightening and informative. Please remember I'm not trying to dissuade anyone from having kids. Choosing to be a family is a massive decision that should not be taken lightly. However, having kids is an awesome responsibility, and I look forward to the years to come.
And maybe one day my own kid will read this post and know what I went through to bring him to the world and not take his momma for granted.