Praise Prayer

Lord Jesus,
My Strength, my Shield. Only when the darkness comes and I face struggles do I see how far I have fallen from You. And still You bring me back to Your Heart.
I stand here in Your Presence, hands raised in worship.
The shadow is gone. Only Love remains.
It is because of You my Savior.
You have renewed my vigor and love for you.
Again and again I prayed for guidance, for sight of what may be, and forgot my worship of You. I neglected Your praises when I ought to have clung to You. Instead I clung to a human, expected too much, loved too little.
You have reminded me what true Love is.
In this time of waiting, I shall put aside all worries and concerns and return to the basics - focusing on You.
I love You Lord.
Thank You for loving me first.
My King, my Comfort, my Friend.
My Salvation and Endurance.
I am Your Servant.
I lay down all I am at Your feet.
I ask for nothing for myself for You have given me everything. I fix my eyes on You.
My God.
My God.
You forsook Your Son to rescue me.
Hear my praises!
Shout it from the rooftops!
Jesus Most High be glorified!

How Much Longer?

A poem.
Also titled: I Carried Love. 


How much longer?
I am waiting on the promise.
How much longer?
I am looking for the hand of God.
Waiting for the time that is to come.
How much longer will we wait?
The choice was made.
The vows were said.
A new life began.
Days of joy.
Days of pain.
They ask me, if I had seen?
If I had known the future before I made my choice?
Would I still have made that choice,
If I knew then what I know now?
I faced the sanity and the madness.
I carried love.
I lived the life I chose.
Days of gladness.
Days of sorrow.
Would I still have taken this road?
Who wouldn't?
Who would not take the chance for adventure?
And yet be willing to settle for gentleness?
I watched our story unfold.
But I did not just watch it.
I lived it.
I carried love.
And looking back, yes,
I still would have taken that road,
Made that choice.

How much longer?
I am waiting on the promise.
Waiting for the time that is to come.
How much longer will we wait?

Breathe (A Poem - Discourse)

"Would it be that I were to know patience,
To face the world with courage,
To walk away from all the glitter and shine.
Would it be to never pace the room,
To never worry again.
Would it be that I were grown.

Would it be that I could truly understand love,
To be satisfied with being loved,
To keep myself from growing cold.
Would it be to never be alone,
To never let others be lonely.
Would it be that I were grown."

Breathe little bird,
Taste this good air.
Breathe little one,
Enjoy growing older and living and learning.
Is it not enough to be alive?
Becoming does not fix it all.
Breathe little bird,
Feel the breeze against your wings.
Breathe little one,
Soon enough you will fly.

"Can't I fly now?
Oh can't I fly now?
Why must I wait?"

Breathe little sparrow,
Breathe little mockingbird.
See the ground below?
See the sky beyond?
Only when you are ready will you see it all.
Breathe.
Understand that time has not yet come.
But that time will never come if you are too quick.
Rush, and you will never truly live.
Breathe little bird.
Becoming does not fix it all.

"It is not enough just living.
I grow tired of the wait.
Am I not ready?
Another day falls asleep
And so must I.
Must I die before I truly live?"

You forget little bird,
True life is beyond the grave.
This life
Facing the ground and sky
And sea and wind,
Is only a breath to God in time.
So breathe little one.
Is it not enough to be alive?
Breathe my child.
Soon enough you will fly.

Cut Away

Here I am Lord.
On my knees and palms open,
Sign that I am submitting to You.
When I forget
and sever myself from You
is when I stumble and realize I am lost.
I spent so much of my time
Focused on another
Until nearly every thought was turned
And I found myself cut away from You.
I forgot my worship.
I forgot my joy.
I forgot my song.
I divided my attention,
Gave too little of it to You.
I thought it was alright,
But I drank solely of the gift,
And forgot the Giver of the gift.
I grew impatient on the slow realization of a dream.
A dream You first gave to me.
How dare I cut You away from it?
How dare I push You out?
Here I am Lord.
On my knees, and praying.
To You be the glory.
Restore my love for You my God.
Restore my reverent adoration to You.
I desire to cherish what You have given me,
Rather than abuse it as I have done.
Here I am Lord.
Awake me once more.
I had cut myself from You.
No more.
Bring me to Your heart,
Fill me with Your Spirit again.
I cannot fix what needs fixing right now.
I cannot change them.
I cannot grow the soul.
Only You can.
Lead on.
Lead on Lord.
You have not forsaken me.
Do not forsake them.
Fill them too.
Not just me.
But give me the patience and strength to see it through.
To wait is hard.
How long Lord?
How much longer must I wait?
How much longer must we wait?
Return to us Lord Jesus.
And never let us be cut away again.
As the bride longs for her bridegroom,
As the thirsty souls long for the Water of Life,
So we long for Your return.
Never let us be cut away again.