Alien Journial - First Entry

     Well, here I am. On Earth. Placed here until my time. I shall explore this world and record my observances. I shall call this my Journial. It is a journal of my journey.

     Humans. Homo sapiens. They call themselves such funny names. They've lived on this planet thousands of years - like, six thousand nine hundred and sixty-three or something like that. Not nearly as long as they think they have been, but a decent amount of time anyway. I'm not sure I was told the exact age of this beautiful place - or if I was told I forgot. Never been good with my schooling.

     But these humans tell me they've been around for millions of years. Don't they realize that everything would be long gone and destroyed if it took that long for them to be here? They're so strange. They base everything around time and their "years" around the star they call the sun and their "dating" methods. And yet they don't understand that in the end it doesn't matter? That everyone is only given so much time to live? That instead of arguing about how old the earth is or how old such-an-such (isn't that a great phrase?) person has to be considered as an adult, each one should be focused on using the life he has to fulfill his purpose.

     But that's another thing. So many humans can't figure out their purpose or don't even bother to find out because they don't want to know. I shouldn't nag. Even I still wonder what I am doing here. Can't I just go home?

     But no, I am here. I should make the most of my time - learn as much as I can about the human race and maybe I'll learn my place in this world at the same time.

     I think that it will be hard though. There are so many unspoken rules of etiquette. I'm going to make mistakes eventually. What will they think of me? I know I appear human. In many instances, I am; well, sort of anyway. Will they understand if I tell them? No. They'll just think I'm crazy. But that would be true too.

     I laugh as I write this. Why am I so worried about getting it right? I'm not perfect. I know, I know. I'm afraid that I will mess up so bad that I'll have to face the consequences.

     Oh dear. And living here without quite knowing what I'm supposed to be doing is hard enough. And then you add the complicated social behavior of the different societies on top of that...it's enough to cook a brain.

A. L. Yan

Son of the Ex-Wife (a poem)

Ever since she came, nothing's been the same.

Father spends all his time with her
instead of me.
even when i'm in the room,
it's like i'm not there
a servant that doesn't have to obey
except to leave.
i must only speak when i'm spoken to,
and that never happens.
i'm a shadow on the wall.
i mean nothing anymore.
doesn't he remember that i'm his son?
the firstborn?
or am i just a blot of existence?
like the kitchen maid?
if i leave would he come find me?
or would he even notice?
he used to favor my company
when mother was gone.
now he forgets me.
now that she has replaced Mother.

Ever since she came, nothing's been the same.

all these parties and i'm never invited anymore.
just sent to my room.
Father used to be my tutor
now it's horsemaster jenkins.
Father was my best frined
now it's my manservant john.
where is the man that i adored?
the man who cared for me?
if only i were a servant,
things would be easier to bear.
at least then i would have an excuse
for being a shadow.
at least then
i never would have felt this way.
Father said he would teach me
about dancing with the girls.
i think he's forgotten.
i'm so lonely without him.
i miss him.
john says not to be jealous of her.
i'm not.
i just want Father back.
even if she stays.
i like her.
she just stole Father from me.

Ever since she came, nothing's been the same.

The Search For Superman

     There is someone I know who is a huge Superman fan. I mean, this guy is completely obsessed. I won't go into detail. I don't know why he's so obsessed. Maybe I should ask him.
     Meanwhile, I will conjecture. If you've been reading my previous blog posts, you would have known this was coming. I am psycho-analytical: I have to study life and behavior and thought-processes of people to understand and decide for myself about it later by pondering it for a while.
     Anyway, about Superman. An alien, hiding on Earth as a human. This "man" happens to have a bunch of superhuman powers: x-ray vision, strength, flight, and a couple more that I can't remember. He's tall, good-looking, and has a moral standard that most tall handsome men don't have. Seems like a perfect man and then some. What's not to love?
     I can understand fangirls going bonkers over a chance to have someone like that. But why would a guy admire Superman? Because he can never measure up? Because he wishes he were just like Superman? Because he thinks the world needs that kind of hero?
     You know, all those questions are linked. Those three mentalities all occur because of an absence - a loss of a loved one, or an appendage, or suffering from PTSD, or a dramatic change in atmosphere at work or in the home. Usually something has to leave the individual with a sense of loss or confusion. He or she is no longer sure what to do.
     That's on the extreme edge. It does not have to be as strong. It could be something as simple as the child momentarily feeling that the parents or "father-figure" in his life is not always there for him. Or the wife temporarily out-of-sorts because her husband is not being the man he's supposed to be. So they turn to comic books and superhero movies for someone to admire and look up to.
     What I find interesting is that everyone goes through this at some point in their life and at varying degrees. And some people go through it numerous times.
     This is not a new thing. Psychiatrists make loads of money off this. Psychologists spend their entire careers studying this. Everybody's just got a big hole in their heart and people journey the world trying to fill it.
     Some people try to fill it with alcohol - trying to drown pains, troubles and problems away.
     Some people try to fill it with drugs - trying to forget it all and "have a good time."
     Some people try to fill it with money - from get-rich-quick schemes to being a proud CEO of a big business to gambling.
     Some people try to fill it with another person - seeking relationship after relationship because the last one didn't work.
     Some try to fill it by seeing the world - traveling everywhere to satisfy the restlessness.
     Some try to fill it by being the best - pop stars, Olympic competitors, artists, musicians, world leaders.
     Some people try to fill it with friends - parties, social gatherings, social networking (texting, Facebook, twitter, etc.).
     Some people try to fill it with religion - most people will claim one or another. Most will say that they (at least) believe in God (or a higher power as I once heard someone say).
     Some people try to fill it by staying busy - taking an extra job even though the money's not needed, going to college again, volunteering themselves at every event and charity in town.
     Some try to fill it with heroes - having favorite movies, music groups, and people (real or fictional) they admire.
     Searching for Superman. We are all searching for a Superman of sorts. We are all looking for something to fill that space in our hearts - or something to distract us from it.
     We need something greater than ourselves. Something big enough to fill that hole in our hearts to overflowing. We pursue dreams. We pursue happiness. To stand with purpose, and not know what that purpose is? Torture. So we chase the winds. We search for Superman. But humans have been around for thousands of years. Where was Superman?
     The word "superman" has the root word supere in it, which means "above/beyond." So a super-man is a man above men - something beyond men and all the schemes of mankind - something that we seek and cling to in times of trouble and crisis and doubts. We search for Superman.
     September 10, 2001. Normal day, normal lives, normal problems. The very next day, the whole world was in a state of shock as the Twin Towers in New York collapsed. People who had lived their entire lives searching for Superman began to pray fervently as the crash occurred and as the building fell in fire and dust. Lives were changed forever. Many died. The tragedy rocked the United States to the core. People had thought they were safe. But in that point in time, they stopped their search for Superman. And cried out to the real hero. One greater than men. One who rescued lives and hearts that day. In a terrible time, we see and know clearly the thing we all search for. But our problem is, once saved, once recued, we forget our rescuer because we thought it was someone else.
     The real Superman doesn't wear red and blue tights and fly around the world and catch bullets and falling girls. The real Superman is not Kryptonite allergenic. The real Superman is not this drop-dead handsome dude. Superman isn't even his name. The real Superman saved lives. And they didn't even know it. No, I take that back. They did know it but refused to understand and accept it.
     Because we don't want it. How ironic. We spend our entire lives searching for him and when he reveals himself we refuse to believe.
     It's easier to believe in a physical Superman that was born on another world and hides among us and has superhuman powers than to believe in a spiritual super-Man that was born here and changes hearts and causes miracles.
     It's easier to watch Superman than to read what I have just said and am about to say.
     There is only one Super Man. I speak with him every day. He loves me. And I worship him. He saved my life.
     His name is Jesus.



     John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whosoever believes in him, will not perish, but have everlasting life."



     Don't scoff. Read the Bible. Start with the part that's titled John. Read it. Over and over again until you understand it. Then move on to the rest of the Bible. There is a superMan. And one day, we will fly too. You think I'm crazy? Then don't believe me. Believe what the Bible says.