Starlight

Starlight.
My new name.
No longer am I "Little One."
Starlight.
Just a little star.
But a little star that shines on the shooting stars passing on by.
Starlight.
Just a little star.
Oftentimes feeling lonely,
oftentimes wishing to shine brighter.
But I'm not meant to flash and die.
I have been declared faithful, my loyalty spoken of.
I am undeserving, but I will continue to send out my light.
I will burn true,
touching the passing stars to send them off with blessing.
My light comes from the Lord.
I will not be dimmed.
Starlight.
One little star.
Needed in this galaxy.
Thank you Lord for naming me.
I might be a little star,
burning, small and steady,
but that is who I am:
Starlight.

Their True Heart (poems; part 9)

Here the speaker shifts from prayer to God and addresses fellow followers of God.

Part 9: Exhortation


Look up, look around.
They are in need of life.
You have it.
God chose you, you chose Him back.
Listen.
Hear the heart of the people, needing the heartbeat of God.
He has been preparing you to move.
O sail, the Wind has come.
You were torn and tattered, but He made you new.
Will you deny Him now,
and refuse to face the sea?
Look up, look around.
They are waiting, searching, some unaware.
You carry the key.
The Name of God.
His Spirit goes with you.
Reach out.
Stretch out your hand to them,
though there is danger, though there is fear.
Shout "Amen!" - so let it be!
He is enough.
He is not safe, but He is mighty, He is good.
And He will not abandon you.
Do not abandon them, else you abandon Him.

Their True Heart (poems; part 8)

Part 8: Realization


And You were dead.
I grew up knowing that,
being told that it meant so much.
I was raised on the idea of Your death meant my life,
Your death the ultimate sacrifice.
And Your resurrection the proof of a promise complete from You.
But You did die.
A terrible, gruesome, painful death.
You were ridiculed, cursed, accused.
You were tried though innocent,
hated though You brought so much hope and healing and truth.
Yet I betrayed You.
I failed to listen, to act on Your words.
I chose people, relationships, things I own, work, even my life,
over You.
You were dead.
God, forced to die.
To save me from myself, from others,
from a purposeless life and destruction.
Murdered, slowly, publicly.
The violence of humanity placed on You.
So You could restore it to glory.
How undeserving we are of You.
This is our God.

Their True Heart (poems; part 7)

Part 7: Take This From Me


Lord I need you in order to do this.
I need to know how to accept it.
How can I accept being invisible?
I can't take going two hours in a group without being seen.
How am I to do this?
I believe, Lord help my unbelief.
I can't do this without you.
Take this from me.
My desire to be known, loved, recognized,
has taken over my life.
I keep saying I give it up,
but then nearly right after
I am tested and I fail.
I end up feeling hurt when I don't get what I want.
But I'm too afraid to ask for what I want.
How am I to cut between my wants
and my deeper desires?
Or do my wants come from them to begin with?
Take this from me.
I am conflicted.
Is this my thorn?
Am I never to be rid of this?
Lord I need you.
Help me to surrender.

Their True Heart (poems; part 6)

Part 6: Breaking Point


You told me to give myself up.
To give up my desire for acceptance,
for love, for recognition.
You asked if I never received those things again,
would I still choose You?
My faith was brought into question.
Doubt and unbelief and fear rose in my soul.
I asked myself, can I do this?
And I sat, in pain and uncertainty.
I knew that I would fail.
I knew of my humanity and sin.
I knew that I would stumble and seek those things.
I knew if I never received those things again,
I would break.
You never said that this would happen,
if anything You would multiply anything taken away.
You simply asked me to give it to You.
All of it.
Even if the things of this life that I desire most
were locked away from me forever,
would I still follow You?
Yes.
Yes, I give it to You.
All of it.
You chose me, You recognized me,
You accepted me, You loved me.
Be all I need and be my one overwhelming desire.

Their True Heart (poems; part 5)

Part 5: Doubt


Can I do this?
Can I do what you want me to do,
say what needs to be said,
without recognition?
Without the sense of accomplishment
or feeling good?
You gave me recognition this week
for doing your will,
but now you ask me to do it again
and for the rest of my life,
without expecting anything in return.
No reciprocity.
Can I do this?
So much is holding me back.
I am human.
I am weak.
I am not enough.
But you declare me enough.
I can't do this without you God.

Their True Heart (poems; part 4)

Part 4: Give Me You


My heart is worn.
The tide surges, flows back, returns again.
Relief is brief.
My spiritual high was not enough to sustain.
Things will never be the same
and yet old habits refuse to die.
The hope in my heart from the night before
even now begins to fade.
Where are you Lord?
What are you about to do?
Like an incoming storm,
I feel your presence in the air.
You used me powerfully
day after day
this whole week,
but my desire for recognition continues.
Remind me that the things done in secret,
the things only you see,
are the things that truly matter.
Lord take this heart, this life,
and give me You.
Take all of me.
Give me a heart that loves unconditionally,
A mind aimed at pleasing you and only you,
A soul unwavering from your will,
Strength that does not fail.
Give me ears that listen only to your voice,
Eyes that see you move.
Give me a mouth that speaks your words,
Hands that do your bidding.

Their True Heart (poems; part 3)

Part 3: A Moment of Power, a Moment of Praise


You have shown me your hand.
You have revealed your mysterious power.
Lord I am humbled and honored.
That you would choose to use me -
that the words you speak through me
would change a life.
I felt you, I knew you in that moment
in a way I never had before.
I praise you.
You are so true, so powerful, so loving.
If you decide to continue to use me in this way,
I will be more than happy, I will be whole.
I struggled with discontentment.
I needed more of you.
I have realized,
that only when I put aside all of me,
my life, my dreams, my desires,
my shortcomings, my worries, my troubles,
then You begin to move.
Only when I put me aside,
gave up everything I was depending on,
did you show up and change everything.
You have revealed yourself to me in a new way,
You are my everything.

Their True Heart (poems; part 2)

Part 2: Here I Am


Here I am God.
I made this choice.
I got caught up in relationships and what I wanted out of them. I went for romance, I clung to my friends. And made mistakes and battled loneliness.
I got focused on work. I needed money so I made it my goal. I wanted the power of wealth so I pursued it. You shut me down.
I made it a point to serve, but shut myself away from receiving.
Here I am God.
All I have left is only things You have provided. No more of me.
Here I am God.
I made this choice.
Like a child I am become dependent on You.
I rely on You.

Their True Heart (poems; part 1)

Part 1: Addressing God


I am happy, and yet unsettled.
I am content, but not satisfied.
If this is from you God, show me how to move.
If this is not, cleanse me with your Spirit.
Show me your hand.
Release your power into me.
Renew me and give me your vision.
My soul's been stirred, but I have no direction.
Grant me your feet
to walk on the tumultuous waters of the living.
Show me your way.
No longer my way, no longer my will.
Make my choices your choices.
I don't want to choose without your having chosen first.
Make the life I am to live exactly what you want it to be.
I am not enough. I have never been enough.
I need you.






     The poetry in this series were written by a Christian, representing some of the spiritual and emotional struggles that come with being someone of that faith. If you have questions or wish to discuss, please feel free to ask or comment below, but be courteous and considerate of other readers. As author of this blog I reserve the right to remove any or all comments.

To Dream

A dream that another dreams.
I feel it.
I see it.
I believe in it.
I absorb it.
But it is not my dream.
And no matter how hard I fight to live out their dreams,
they are not my dreams.
We are made different ways.
Allowed to dream different dreams.
Some dreams are born inside us,
remaining even when we push them aside.
Other dreams are inspired.
But when another's dream is placed upon someone,
forced on,
or accepted through fear, or obligation, or belief,
or even misunderstanding,
That's when the problem starts.
I believed in a good thing.
I wanted a dream for my own.
So I set out to meet the standards I saw before me,
I did what I thought was expected of me.
But it was not enough.
I was living a lie.
To myself. To how God made me.
I had dreamed, but it was not mine.
But how was I to know?
I did not know myself, who I am,
so naturally I pursued another's dream instead of my own.
Got ideas into my head on how to live.
But all I was doing was surviving.
Not living.
In not being true to the person God is forming me into
I was smothering myself, my dreams, and God's design.
But then, I woke up.
I put aside my old way of living,
and began to dream again,
My worries replaced by hope,
the shadows chased away.
I was renewed.
I am starting over.
Although I know the path ahead is narrow
and I am prone to wander off,
and things will be difficult now and again,
I am ready.
I am excited to begin anew.