February 5, 1813.
My dear Kitty,
You were right of course. Mother and Father were not pleased at all. But Mr. Antony is a gentleman! Yes dear sister I know now. I did see him again, against Mother and Father's wishes. For a fortnight after telling them about him, I kept silent, then I left him a small note to meet me at the little public garden that Mrs. Crumford keeps. And he came. We walked through the trees and the flowerbeds, talking all the while. We had such a lovely time! And we discovered that we like so many of the same things! Of course, I asked him about his faith. His answer is the one thing that worries me. He told me that he believes in God, but that he goes to no church. That means he is not a Christian at all, but a Deist! I do suppose that is better than being full heathen. Oh Kitty what am I to do? I like him so terribly much! And he has made it clear that he wants me. It's not that he has already asked me to marry him. That would be too indecent. But his behavior and words told me that he thought me beautiful. I shall be indiscreet with you and say it outright. He wants me. Do not think harshly of him. He is a perfect gentleman. But I do know what crosses his mind when he thinks of me.
There's something else too. I must have done or said something that made him decide to stop courting me. He told me that for a while we should part as friends. That for a time we must grow to know each other, then perhaps he might ask to court me again. I do not know what to make of it. All this has happened so quickly. Perhaps I should let him go and live as if it all never happened. But I cannot stop thinking about him. What should I do?
I await your reply,
Annabelle.
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