To Dream

A dream that another dreams.
I feel it.
I see it.
I believe in it.
I absorb it.
But it is not my dream.
And no matter how hard I fight to live out their dreams,
they are not my dreams.
We are made different ways.
Allowed to dream different dreams.
Some dreams are born inside us,
remaining even when we push them aside.
Other dreams are inspired.
But when another's dream is placed upon someone,
forced on,
or accepted through fear, or obligation, or belief,
or even misunderstanding,
That's when the problem starts.
I believed in a good thing.
I wanted a dream for my own.
So I set out to meet the standards I saw before me,
I did what I thought was expected of me.
But it was not enough.
I was living a lie.
To myself. To how God made me.
I had dreamed, but it was not mine.
But how was I to know?
I did not know myself, who I am,
so naturally I pursued another's dream instead of my own.
Got ideas into my head on how to live.
But all I was doing was surviving.
Not living.
In not being true to the person God is forming me into
I was smothering myself, my dreams, and God's design.
But then, I woke up.
I put aside my old way of living,
and began to dream again,
My worries replaced by hope,
the shadows chased away.
I was renewed.
I am starting over.
Although I know the path ahead is narrow
and I am prone to wander off,
and things will be difficult now and again,
I am ready.
I am excited to begin anew.