As some of you have read in a couple of previous posts, my fiance walked away from me. The amount of pain I have received from his decision is tremendous. And his only answer of not being able to handle "it" (whatever "it" is) anymore has plagued me over and over again. I'm sure most can understand just how cutting to a woman's dignity and pride and perspective of worth is the action of a loving man no longer choosing her can be.
I stand in God's grace. I am a giver. The Lord gave me so much love and joy overflowing that I have to give. I hold out my hand in an offering of healing. I give my smile when the sky is dark in someone's life. I live to serve. That's how God made me. How damaged do you think I felt when I offered my future to a man who asked for it, and then rejected it? Agony. Crying on the floor to the point of screaming. Praying to God, begging to be taken home to Heaven. And then when the tears stop, anger and bitterness try to take over and the desire to crush his throat or convince the entire world to never trust him again rise to the surface. And I scream to God for answers, for love.
And I do. I do receive answers and reassurance that God loves me. Over and over again.
A peace, a calmness comes over me as I wash the salt from my face after the tears dried. I raise my hands to the sky and sing a song to the Lord. His hand rests on me and he speaks to me:
"You are beautiful."
And I understand. I understand that my gifts remain. I am still whole. I am a giver. One facet in the image of Jesus, but still a part of Him. Regardless of how much the world rejects the Savior, He loves them all - each and every person. Including you and me. And the love put within me overflows. Regardless of how many times I could trust someone as much as I did and then be rejected, I would rise again. I would fall to my knees and cry of heartbreak and despair in humanity for a time, but then I would get up again. I would stand and hold out my hand once more. No matter how many scars I receive for it. Because no scar could compare to the scars Jesus received from being on the Cross.
I am but a reflection seen in a foggy mirror - reflecting the Lord. The fog is my own sin and imperfections. But the One holding the mirror knows that the reflection - no matter how dimly - is His reflection. He sees my gifts and continues to give and grow them - slowly cleaning the mirror. And He calls me beautiful.
So no matter what happens to you, how many times you end up hurt and questioning everything - especially who you are and if you're worth anything - remember that God made you with special gifts and He has called you to use them. He loves you. And because He made you, you are beautiful.
So let yourself cry from time to time when the hurts of life feel overwhelming. Then remember that Jesus bore it all when He died for you. And then get up again. He says you were worth dying for. Get up. He will provide everything you need and His timing is perfect.
Get up.
Stand with Jesus.
Walk with Him to guide you.
Get up.
You are beautiful.
I stand in God's grace. I am a giver. The Lord gave me so much love and joy overflowing that I have to give. I hold out my hand in an offering of healing. I give my smile when the sky is dark in someone's life. I live to serve. That's how God made me. How damaged do you think I felt when I offered my future to a man who asked for it, and then rejected it? Agony. Crying on the floor to the point of screaming. Praying to God, begging to be taken home to Heaven. And then when the tears stop, anger and bitterness try to take over and the desire to crush his throat or convince the entire world to never trust him again rise to the surface. And I scream to God for answers, for love.
And I do. I do receive answers and reassurance that God loves me. Over and over again.
A peace, a calmness comes over me as I wash the salt from my face after the tears dried. I raise my hands to the sky and sing a song to the Lord. His hand rests on me and he speaks to me:
"You are beautiful."
And I understand. I understand that my gifts remain. I am still whole. I am a giver. One facet in the image of Jesus, but still a part of Him. Regardless of how much the world rejects the Savior, He loves them all - each and every person. Including you and me. And the love put within me overflows. Regardless of how many times I could trust someone as much as I did and then be rejected, I would rise again. I would fall to my knees and cry of heartbreak and despair in humanity for a time, but then I would get up again. I would stand and hold out my hand once more. No matter how many scars I receive for it. Because no scar could compare to the scars Jesus received from being on the Cross.
I am but a reflection seen in a foggy mirror - reflecting the Lord. The fog is my own sin and imperfections. But the One holding the mirror knows that the reflection - no matter how dimly - is His reflection. He sees my gifts and continues to give and grow them - slowly cleaning the mirror. And He calls me beautiful.
So no matter what happens to you, how many times you end up hurt and questioning everything - especially who you are and if you're worth anything - remember that God made you with special gifts and He has called you to use them. He loves you. And because He made you, you are beautiful.
So let yourself cry from time to time when the hurts of life feel overwhelming. Then remember that Jesus bore it all when He died for you. And then get up again. He says you were worth dying for. Get up. He will provide everything you need and His timing is perfect.
Get up.
Stand with Jesus.
Walk with Him to guide you.
Get up.
You are beautiful.
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