I Want To Be...

I want to be a Deborah
     and lead when called upon.
I want to be a Hannah
     and dedicate what is given me.
I want to be a Gomer
     and return to the Forgiver.
I want to be a Mary
     and accept the Lord's decree.

I want to be a Rebekah
     and be chosen by God.
I want to be a Ziporah
     and to endure criticism.
I want to be a Ruth
     and blossom among strangers.
I want to be a Naomi
     and aid those who need.

I want to be a Martha
     and to be corrected.
I want to be a Priscilla
     and share in the ministry.
I want to be a Nympha
     and to be hospitable.
I want to be an Esther
     and do what is right.

I want to be a Queen of Sheba
     and seek out the wise.
I want to be an Elizabeth
     and be honored by a special visit.
I want to be an Anna
     and behold a miracle.
I want to be a Magdalene
     and be truly rescued.

But most of all...

I want to be me
     and find God's purpose for me.
I want to be me
     and learn His Plan.
I want to be me
     and never leave His side.
I want to be me
     and become all the good things of the women of the past.

I want to be a woman after God's own heart
With my own place and purpose in this world.
I want to be the me that God means for me to be
With my life's path leading to where I'm supposed to go...

I want to be the me that God sees.

What Is A Dragon? (a poem)

What is a dragon?
Is he a serpent with claws
and a gargoyle face
on a Chinese banner?
Is he a terrible monster
slain in his nest
hunted by Beowulf?

What is a dragon?
Is it a feathered creature
or one of telepathic mind
in the tale of Eragon?
Is it only a myth and legend
only a dinosaur -
its children on the isle of Komodo?

What is a dragon?
Is he one of many
one of a vast army
of countless species and names?
Is he alone
one of a dying race
hunted, rare, beautiful?

What is a dragon?
Is he sometimes evil
a youth's nightmare,
breathing fire in your dreams?
Is he sometimes good
kneeling to let you up,
as the cavalry of the sky?

What is a dragon?
Does he have bright scales
with reptilian eyes
and the largest claws in the world?
Is he the heart of a man
one who is bold
a great leader among men?

What is a dragon?
Myth or real all agree
the dragon was feared -
few challenge his might and power.
But what is a dragon?
Symbol of strength and fire -
fearless and proud, king of reptiles.

What is a dragon?
I am a dragon.

What to Write?

     I have been asked to keep writing. However, I find myself unable to do so. Have I lost my spark? No. Am I bored? No. Then where has my brain gone? I dunno.
     Perhaps it is because I'm not that opinionated of a person. I'm not a Rush Limbaugh or a Glenn Beck. I don't get so fed up about politics that I just have to speak out about it. Maybe I should.
     When it comes to relationships though, I have opinion. I have stories. I have analyses and beliefs. Theories and assumptions abound inside my head. I am a people person. Let me talk about people and their problems. And people will read it. They do. What do you think you're doing right now? I'm laughing as I write this. I'm a die-hard romantic myself. My favorite story in the Old Testament is the story of Hosea and Gomer. My favorite chick-flick is tied between You've Got Mail and Kate and Leopold. My favorite play is Cyrano de Bergerac. And yet I hate Romeo and Juliet or any story with a similar plotline. Ironic right?
     I know, I know. I could go on talking forever about romance and familial lifestyles. I could write books and books about people problems and what I thought was the psychology behind it. I could make a living off of it. Countless others have done it, so why not me?
     Maybe it's because I'm discovering my own "people problems". That everybody - including me - has to go through it. Everybody's got to grow up sometime. I'm not unique in that matter. I once thought that I was above it. That I already understood. I considered myself precocious. Yeah. Right. How wrong I was.
     I'll admit it. I learned a lesson the hard way. I shouldn't even say that. I thought I had learned it, then I went out and made it worse. Talk about stupid. And I had thought that I "knew this stuff". That I was too good to mess up. That I understood what it meant to be grown up. Let me repeat the age-old saying. Pride goes before a fall.
     That's right peoples. It was as simple as that, and yet infinitely complicated at the same time. I had gotten myself tangled in my own web of deceit. I even believed I was above saving. Man oh man did I learn a lesson. What's humiliating about it is that I thought I had already learned that lesson.
     To say one thing, and then to go out and do the opposite. It's called hypocrisy. "Do as I say not as I do." Politicians do it a lot. Parents do it sometimes. And I, well, I hit it on the nail...
     Ouch.
     Yeah. Growing up is hard. Painful. Humiliating. Hard. I tell you once, I tell you again. Kids, don't spend your days dreaming about Neverland. Adults, don't look down on those of us who are slow to learn. We try. I try. Really. It's just the same ol' lesson that everybody's gotta learn eventually. It's a lesson written over and over again in history. Can't you just lighten up for one moment?
     Easing off, you know what I mean? Some people learn faster than others. It's easy to say you won't do something. Then some trigger comes along and you find yourself doing precisely what you never imagined yourself doing. Regrets? Yes. Big ones? Yes. Lesson learned? I...um...I learned that lesson too. Never assume you know. I hope that I learned it this time.
     Hey, what do you know? I got talking again. It didn't take much apparently. Just let me rattle on and this is what you get. My thanks. To those of you who continue to push me to write more. And to those of you reading this. When I have something to say, I can write. When I know that there's someone who will read it, and possibly take home to mind and to heart what I have to say, it is a joy to write. Thank you. Thank you for giving me focus. Thank you for impatiently waiting for me to write again. I needed that.

Silver Line