Fly

Fly on the wings of light.
Fly on the wings of hope.
Wing of courage on the wind.
Soar with strength high above it all.
Fly on the wings of love.
Fly on the wings of song.
Wing of worship on the wind.
Soar with joy high above it all.
See Him flying:
Flying over the water.
Let me rise on on You.
Never let me look back.
Have me breathe Your air.
You are my rest, my refuge, my song.
I'm not lonely when You're the one flying.
I'm not falling when it's Your wings.
The wings of the Savior.

It is not enough to walk.
For even then I sometimes crawl.
It is not enough to speak.
For even then I have no words.
Though my wings get stolen,
Though my feathers clipped.
Though I'm caged
And left to be little more than an ornament.
I will not be satisfied
With living less.
I am called to fly.
Made to fly.
Made to ride the wind.
I set my sights on eagles.
Befriend the albatross.
Still this little bird,
When beaten down,
She'll rise again.
Look up! See Him there:
Cutting though the shadowy clouds.
Let me feel Your wings.
Never let me be crushed by fear.
Have me cling to You.
You are my comfort, my home, my call.
I'm not dying when You're the one flying.
I'm not falling when it's Your wings.
The wings of the Savior.

Imaginary

     I've been caught up in the crud of the world as of late. Reality surrounds me with darkness, pain, loss, anger, hatred, fear, screams, depression, agony...on and on it goes: the mundane, laborious work of keeping a "normal" life but a deception, an attempt to blind me of every important detail and precious soul on this earth; the complexity of relationships and interactions with fellow humans causing stress and overwhelming me so that I cannot focus on simply living.
     Then why is it looked down upon to escape? To disappear into fantastical worlds only of imagining? To drown the pain and the noise with dreams of exploring untouched space or making friends with bizarre creatures? Why are children allowed to pretend and we adults are thought odd if we do the same?
     Is it because we "have no time"? Or perhaps we think of the idea that a fairytale's function is to entertain and/or teach a lesson to a small child? If that's so, ought we not write some for adults? To show them the wonder and beauty of exploration and discovery of the inner workings of humans' minds and lives once again?
     Take for example the classic story: young man meets young woman (or simply hears of her) and then a "bad guy" steals away the young woman (or threatens her), and young man does whatever to rescue young woman and defeat (usually by killing) bad guy, and thus winning young woman's heart. Do we adults turn from this idea because we believe that a "happily-ever-after" is next to impossible to achieve - or even disbelieve in the idea at all?
     Or how about the coming-of-age story, where a young man or woman sets out to prove his or herself, conquering hurdles, learning lessons, gaining friends? The adventure tale? And yet so many of the stories for adults today focus on the sexual and the power-seeking, the illogical pointless humor and the soap opera, the horrific nightmare and the battle.
     What did we lose? What is missing, that we go about day to day going to work, coming home, and watching a film that does nothing to grow you because it simply amuses, or reading a book that gives you a mental and emotional thrill but never moves you to be better or do better, never teaches you or inspires you?
     So what if I'm a little crazy and enjoy the fantastical worlds that even children know and love? In every fairy story there is an element of reality. I am not as far away as you think. I have not lost my mind, I am growing it. Shaping my understanding of the real world, by using the creative gift God has given me, and seeing the worlds others have made with the same gift. Within dreams, dreams come true. From ideas, more are born. You may not understand that the mouse I speak to, talks back and instructs me to fight with honor. You might not get that one moon another galaxy away is a base for the meetings of universal guardians who do not obey the rules of politics. That's okay.
     It's how I deal with even crazier reality.

My Oath

     Today, September 27th, 2015, I put down the words that I have been forming since spring. And words I plan to also back up with action in six months' time by cutting the hair which I have dutifully grown out and am giving it away.
     A little over a year ago I had made a promise to marry someone. In the spring I lost him. Today, after some time grieving the loss of the human I loved, I have gathered what I have learned and now understand the true nature of loving another. But I also understand another part of my God.
     I understand that I have a gift related to touch. When I allow contact with a fellow human, I am given a glimpse into their soul. This has happened numerous times and in different ways.
     I also understand that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit as I have surrendered my soul to God. I am not my own. I was bought with the blood of Jesus. My life is to serve the Most High.
     And I understand now that when I touch others, whether in word or deed, with the Spirit guiding me, they too are touched. For as an ambassador of God and a temple of the Spirit, when people are with me when I am filled with HIS presence, they stand in the presence of God.
     Yes, I am a frail human being like everyone else. I mess up, I make terrible mistakes, and I often do as I don't wish to do. However, when I declare God in charge of my life, He takes over. His work on mankind is constant and mysterious to the point that even I, but a humble little vessel, cannot see. I am only to obey to glorify the Maker.
     And this is my oath:
     I know who is my King. I know who is my Friend. I know who gives me life. I know who is my Redeemer.
     I know the I AM who taught me who I am. To whom I now give all I am back.
     I release everything that I have kept inside of me - my anger, my pain, and my lonliness. I hand over my constant need to know why, my desire to keep what does not belong to me as I am not my own, and my inability to forgive those who betray me and therefore they betray the God who I am charged to represent.
     I understand that nothing happens to me that my Lord God does not know about. I understand that I am where I am today because God knows where I am needed - where He can touch others best through me.
     I do not know the details of the road ahead, but I am certain that it is the path that God has laid out for me before I was even formed in my mother's womb.
     And this do I promise: One Lord. One faith. One destiny. One King. One Protector. One true Friend.
     I take on the lightest, and yet the hardest, burden of being a servant of God and imitator of Jesus.
     And as the locks of hair fall from my head, they represent the chains that I myself built around me to tie me down. They represent the enemies that this world throws at me. And as my Savior takes my hand and pulls me above the crashing waves over and over again...
     They shall weigh me down no more.
     In God's Name,
     Amen.